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There and Back Again

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Life has pretty funny timing, wouldn’t you say? I met Tommy right before I moved to Charlotte. And just as I started to fall in love with Charlotte, I decided to move back to Winston-Salem. Yep, I’m moving back. IMG_4703

I’m extremely lucky that I have a job that will allow me to work in Winston-Salem. I did the same job there before I asked to move to Charlotte. I moved for personal and professional reasons: I wanted to get to know more coworkers who were located in Charlotte, wanted a change of scenery after a break-up in Winston, wanted to make travel to San Francisco easier since I was flying there a lot last year (and of course I haven’t been there once for work this year – ha!), and to be honest, I just didn’t think I would meet someone to date (once I was ready to date) in Winston since it’s a relatively small town. (We know how that went!)

I’m so grateful for my time in Charlotte. It’s been great professionally – I’ve been able to build great relationships that will benefit my career for years and also build close friendships with many coworkers. I am SO grateful to have a job I love (something I never take for granted having spent time in jobs that were pretty miserable at times), coworkers I truly enjoy working with, and a boss who is supportive of me professionally and personally.

And moving to Charlotte has been great for me personally as well — to do something just for me and not dependent on someone else, to get out of my comfort zone, to figure out who I am when I’m not in my comfort zone, to make new friends, to toughen up a bit (my neighborhood isn’t exactly the best). And, most importantly, to figure out what I really value in life and what a good quality of life looks like for me. And while I really like Charlotte and my life here, it’s not right for me right now.

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Tommy and I have both been burning the candle at both ends to keep our relationship strong, trying to maintain friendships and commitments where we live, and keeping our careers moving forward. The back and forth between Charlotte and Winston-Salem has been really draining for seven months, and neither of us feel at our best. It’s an hour and a half drive each way, and while that’s not awful (I’ve definitely heard of worse long-distance situations, or heck, longer commutes!), it’s long enough to really sap our time and energy. And we’re at the point in our relationship that we feel it’s really important to be in the same town, and so we can put our energy where we need to—relationships, friendships, careers, personal interests–and not on coordinating logistics and driving.

It was a really, really hard decision and something I prayed and thought about a LOT. It’s very bittersweet to be leaving. But while I really, really, really like Charlotte, I love Winston-Salem. The quality of life in Winston is more my speed. I’ve had a hard time swallowing the increased cost of living in Charlotte, the crime (at least where I live!), the parking, etc. (I definitely got too accustomed to easy living in WS because Charlotte reminds me a lot of Salt Lake City, where I grew up, and I love that city!) I’ll miss the restaurants, the endless social opportunities, wide variety of activities, and all the options for almost everything you need in life (i.e. I just discovered an awesome nail place today!). I will really, really miss my new friends who have been absolutely incredible here, and holy moly, I’m really gonna miss my workouts buddies at Metro CrossFit – such a great group.

But for now, Winston is where I want and need to be. And it feels really good to be going home.

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    29 responses to “There and Back Again”

    1. I had a strong feeling this was going to happen! I’m so excited for you!!!! And I’m super happy that you’ll be there if I ever get around to moving there! I’d love to get together sometime! 🙂 Hope you have a very Happy 4th of July!

    2. I have decided over the years that when there is a tough decision to be made deep down we know what we want. It’s just a matter of getting ourselves to make it happen. Happy for you. 🙂

    3. I’ve found that it’s not unusual for God to want you to put in the work and be willing to step outside your comfort zone before He lets you get good and happy and comfy again- even if that’s right where you started.

      • Hi Kristen – I was reading back over the comments in this post and realized I never responded to this. I LOVED your comment. I’ve noticed more and more how God engineers circumstances in life for my good. And I’m so grateful for that! I try to remember that in the moment when I’m struggling that He has a bigger plan. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom!

    4. That’s such exciting news, Teri! Timing has a funny way of working out, and this is so cheesy, but everything happens for a reason. Good luck with the move!

    5. Yay, good for you for following your heart!!! Good luck with the move. There are always many things to be learned about getting out of your comfort zone. It’s impressive that you can view your situation and identify the many positives of it (even if it sucks to move twice in 7 months!).

    6. So happy for you! It always seemed like your heart was in Winston (and that was before you shared that Tommy still lived there).
      I am glad it worked out for you. Hey, it’s more practical to drive 1 1/2 hours to visit your crossfit buddies every once in a while than it is to maintain a long distance love. 🙂

    7. Aw! Winston! My hometown. I moved away last fall, but there is something magical about that place. It steals your heart… but you know that already! 🙂

    8. hooray! This makes me super duper happy!!! I can’t wait to hear about your new adventures once you are back. Love you!

    9. So bummed to be losing you! Want to make sure you know that you are more than welcome to come workout with us anytime you are back in town.

    10. My boyfriend and I have been doing the Columbia to Greenville drive for 9 months and I agree with you 100%, it could be WORSE but it is certainly draining. Anytime we tell people about the drive between us we get the “that’s not so bad!” response, and while it really isn’t SO bad, it gets very irritating sometimes, especially when it’s such a commitment to spend a weekday night together. We have 5 more months of it while I finish up grad school before I can relocate to be closer to him. I am sure you will be thrilled once you’re back in WS. Safe travels!

      • Hi Dani! I was reading back over this blog post and realized I never responded to your comment! I hope you are just about done with grad school so you can move closer to your boyfriend! xo

    11. Good for you! I can relate to the long distance relationship. I’ve mentioned before that my husband and I were long distance until we got married. (It was important to us to keep somewhat of a traditional aspect and not live together before we were married) We lived about 45-50 minutes apart for the 2+ years we were dating/engaged. Because both of our schedules were very busy during the week, we mostly saw each other on the weekends and occasionally maybe one night during the week. While we were able to make it work, there were definitely times where it was tough (if I had a bad day, something major/exciting happened, etc.) not being able to immediately share things with each other. I’m excited for you! Being somewhere that makes you happy is the most important!

    12. While it makes me incredibly sad that you are leaving I think it’s great you are following your heart! Best of luck to you in Winston. I will just have to visit at minimum to see how those hspu/snatches/pull-ups and other cool cfit shit you have improved on!

    13. So happy for you. How amazing to be living for you. At one point in this post, specifically at the paragraph of “And moving to Charlotte…” almost brought me to tears. I’m working through my own struggles with my first ‘real job’ out of college, and wondering when the moment I feel both happy and content in what I’m doing will happen. I have many dreams, but limited finances and time at the moment. I’m making a plan to pray on it and hope it helps.

    14. Oh I’m really happy for you. It sounds like this will be a good thing. I’m not happy for you having to pack up again…moving is the worst. Good luck!!

    15. Excited to have stumbled across your blog just as you move back to Winston! We too headed away for awhile wanting to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and ultimately our hearts led us right back here. Continue to follow your nose to what feels right and hopefully we can bump in to you and Tommy some time around town. All the best!

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